Saturday, July 30, 2005


Rating: D+

Most of the time, when you leave an action movie where folks drive, fly, swim or whatever fast, you tend to drive a little faster on the way home acting out parts of the movie. After leaving Stealth, I was tired and had a headache and was disappointed. I didn't have that high of expectations entering into this movie, especially after seeing the ads 5,000,000 times.

The big story about this flick was Jamie Foxx, in his first post-Ray appearance. What you might not know is Stealth was filmed before Ray and Jamie doesn't figure too much in the outcome. This is a Josh Lucas/Jessica Biel vehicle all the way. I thought it was going to be the typical, there's the best of the best whatever enter in the new technology that will replace them it goes nuts and the best of the best whatever have to stop it and prove that nothing beats good old American people. I kinda wish it had been. There are a few twists and turns and the story gets bogged down to the point where you really don't care what happens.

I used to think that the new advent of computer generated special effects was a good thing, and it still can be, but at the expense of story and characters? The flying effects here are nice, but they can make those of you prone to sea-sickness a little ill, and it contributed to my headache.

You never really get the feel that the three pilots have bonded as close as should be. It almost seems that the addition of the HAL voiced autopilot Eddie (spelled EDI) is a relief for the tension. Josh Lucas seems uncomfortable in the leading role as the one who 'has a bad feeling' about the new wingman. Jessica Biel is totally over her head as the best woman pilot/face of the Navy. The supposed romance between the two is forced and mostly unwatchable. Foxx just seems bored. EDI is almost immediately dubbed "Tinman" by Lucas, but none of the main stars have thier own callsigns for us to get to know them as. That was one of the fun aspects of Top Gun, a good movie that this one tried really hard to be, but falls flat.

Sam Sheppard plays the commanding officer who is in with a mysterious Washington beaurocrat to make sure the EDI program works no matter what. Joe Morton who is no stranger to out of control technology(see T2) is just kinda there to move the story along.

Overall, for all the hype, this movie was not enjoyable at all. The explosions are pretty and plentiful, but the stars are forgettable, well except for the puberty-enducing bikini scene where Biel really shines. Also, what is with the green apples? They seem to be in every single room on the ship or land piled very nicely in a bowl. It's very sad when a bowl of fruit is the most memorable thing of this movie. Go do something else.


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