Crank

Rating: B-

As hard as he tries, Jason Statham just can't carry a movie on his own. At least not a major one. He looks good, fights good, says all the right things, but he just can't get it done all the way.

Crank pulls no punches as it throws you right into the main storyline with no buildup whatsoever. Statham plays Chev Chelios (who came up with that name?), a hitman who has been poisoned with some mysterious drug called the "Bejing Cocktail". The only way he can stay alive and get his revenge is to keep his heart rate up. So bring on the violence, drugs, car chases, more violence, dismemberment, shootings, beatings, robbery, and sex. Chev gets some help from his doctor, played very well by a Dennis Hopper-esque Dwight Yoakam. A very sleepy Amy Smart plays Chev's girlfriend, Eve. The movie is billed as he has to proctect Eve, but that never really comes into play.

Crank takes some time to get used to. The camera work is erratic at best with constant freezing, jerking, and zooming in and out. It makes you wish you took some drugs yourself, mostly for seasickness. There is also a never before seen use of Google Earth to make the transitions between locations. Neat.

It's not a bad movie, nor is it a good one. There are some very funny moments, and Statham plays to them very well mostly in the sense that they are funny because it is Jason Statham thr tough guy that they are happening to. A lot of the time, the plot is so confusing as to who is who and who is on whose side that you just want to let go and ride the ride until the end and see who is left standing and who is left with which bodypart in tact. Rent this one and make sure not to eat beforehand.